OPINION: MOURNING SENIOR YEAR 2020
DuBois Library at UMass Amherst. Photo: Umass.edu
Editor’s Note: This column appeared previously in the Boston Globe
The University of Massachusetts Amherst campus sits in silence in the weeks following the statewide stay-at-home advisory to slow the spread of COVID-19. The 600 students who remain are housed in dorms scattered around the campus, isolated. It is my home.
Just four weeks ago, I sat in my dorm working on my honors thesis. I took regular trips to the Franklin Dining Commons to meet up with friends. I dreaded classes, some of which I skipped, and yearned for the weekend and heading to the bars. I attended student government meetings, club events, and fraternity gatherings — unaware that these gatherings would be my last.
Coming from a homeless family, I found community and safety at UMass that I had not felt for a long time. It gave me the space to finally call somewhere home, with a diverse support network that challenged me to be and do better every day. I was able to explore my passions for writing, politics, and advocacy work.
In the wake of COVID-19, the university is but a shadow of what it once was. For students, previously held goals and dreams for the future contrast with this new reality. The promise of formal events, dining hall trips, class discussions, and social gatherings echoes throughout university buildings and dorms. As a graduating senior and first-generation college student, I’m finding this abrupt transition heartbreaking, the loss of cherished memories and experiences at UMass accentuated by the silence.
Due to the coronavirus outbreak, seniors across the country have left their universities without closure. Abruptly forced from their campuses by the pandemic, they have lost the opportunity to enjoy a senior spring, a time of improved weather and less academic responsibility. A hastened end culminated four years of trials and tribulations, academic victories and personal triumphs, with graduation postponed.
I complete the work for my online classes and I connect with friends over Zoom and social media, but these interactions present only a facade of intimacy. Knowing that the semester is likely to end without a senior ceremony, there is the chance I may not see close friends and peers for an undetermined amount of time. We spend our days self-quarantined and secluded, a level of isolation for the Class of 2020 that has no foreseeable end. We’re used to the comfort of a close-knit campus and constant social interaction.
As the first in my family to attend a four-year university, I yearn for a commencement ceremony that would allow me to be a role model for my six younger siblings. How many times did I imagine walking across the graduation stage, victorious over the years of traumatic experiences in homelessness. I dream of classroom interactions and the closeness of my fellow students, but I must be satisfied with the emotional distance of Zoom lectures. I wish for just one more chance to relax with friends at a party, during a club meeting, or in a dining hall. Disconnected from my second family, I attempt to fill the void with video games and Netflix binging, mourning my senior year.
As we approach summer and a recession, graduating seniors face job insecurity. Despite rising unemployment, dependent college students do not qualify for the proposed stimulus checks. Constant anxiety has replaced the joy of senior year as we fight to find balance and stability without resources.
For students continuing at the university, the future of education remains unclear. Next year, I’ll be a graduate student at UMass pursuing a master’s degree in public policy. The unclear timeline of coronavirus disruptions raises doubts about even next fall, of my coming educational experience. This makes me question my choice to pursue a graduate degree, fearful of the disconnected educational environment we are now forced to endure.
As the number of coronavirus cases increases each day, the need for further restrictions and self-quarantining becomes more evident, a reality that doesn’t escape students. I fear for the massive loss of life that this pandemic will bring, the lives of my immunocompromised family members, and peers at risk. At the same time, graduating students like me attempt to salvage lasting memories of college, enduring the disconnection of online classes and self-quarantining and the loss of meaningful experiences while preparing for an uncertain financial future. The sudden loss of normalcy shakes the stability of the university campus that had given me my second family and has become my home.
Timothy Scalona is a senior at UMass Amherst, majoring in political science and journalism.
I have been recommending this column to my friends and relatives. Scalona gives a very personal account of how the coronavirus pandemic has disrupted his senior year in the university that has served as his home for the past four years. I wish him well in his graduate studies.